Ooops It's a Girl

When I was younger I thought like this; "Since I'm a girl I am expected to do X, Y, and Z. And act like so, so, and so. (my russian grandmother would always say "a girl shouldn't act like that..") Therefore, I should do my best to not do X, Y, Z and screw with so, so, and so." This was obviously counter-productive since although I wasn't conforming to what people told me I should be I also wasn't truely listening to what I wanted to do; rather only choosing the opposite of girl which isn't that great either.

So then I hit high school and I realize "Bloodyfuckinghell!! I like make-up and pretty things and romance BLAARGH!!!" (I was slightly vindicated by the fact that the guys around me liked those things too) I think I spent a lot of time wondering whether evil government operatives slipped something into the water to make me act so disgustingly *girlsh*. WORSE I had found a lot of literature saying I was genetically pre-disposed toward acting a certain way because I had female genitalia. I was doomed. Behind all of the 'women are just more empathetic and men are just more independent and agressive' I read 'just go and start planning your family NOW'. On the flip-side of that men were painted as emotionally-challenged sex starved pigs. That didn't seem right to me; Everyone wants sex, a lot, not just men.

So I pushed passed that and I came upon a whole bunch of other information disputing the whole mars and venus claim. By that time I was sick of questioning myself and thought "why the fuck are we still trying to write off our random virtues and faults on whether we have an innie or an outie?" MENTAL ANDROGYNY BABY!

So why do I feel ashamed and sordid when I expect a guy to pay for dinner, or am impressed by his ability to open pickle jars or long for him to protect me in someway? Femminism has taught me that I should take the reigns and never be dependent on my boyfriend/husband/father. But I shouldn't feel ashamed, I'm just not a very dominant person and I happen to be a woman. I hope the men in my life depend and rely on me too and nothing is taken for granted on either side because there's nothing we're supposed to do.

In light of this here's some interesting reading from Slate:

The Sex Difference Evangelists


AND

Divorce is Good For Women