How Edward Ruined Vampires (Vampy Dialogues Series 01)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the end of the vampire. You may remember when these creatures of the night were objects of terror, ruthless, intelligent, predators that were cursed with vestiges of humanity while simultaneously obliged to be amoral in order to survive. You may have associated them with dangerous taboo sexuality and the price one must pay for immortality and power. Scenes like Lestat and Louis simultaneous draining a barmaid, leaving two gold coins next to her corpse and then casually walking off may even spring to mind.

Not anymore right?

Now, it's Edward Cullen and his awkward lust for a teenage girl, he's vampvegan, he sparkles and can most often be found stalking (Edwards Diary: 12:14pm: bella is having lunch at the school cafeteria, she's so cute when she chews! <3).

So what gives? The sad truth is simply that Edward is more marketable than Lestat (and his brand of vampire). Although sexy in his own right, Lestat kills, often and with pleasure, he has love affairs (plural!) both hetero and homosexual, he subverts authority and in general does icky things (The Tale of the Body Thief opens with Lestat tenderly sucking a grandmotherly woman dry and in Memnoch The Devil he goes on for pages about how yummy menstrual blood is). Edward on the other-hand only strives to "protect" Bella while still being an ultra cool, achingly beautiful, superhuman with sparkles. Therefore Edward is easy to sell as a 'bad boy' romantic icon to tweens and above. The insidious thing about Edward is that he takes on all the trappings of subculture edge without any of the exploration or thought. Lestat tests readers limits and forces them to look in on the darker sides of humanity's desires for fame and bloodlust while Edward is another player in reinforcing traditional gender roles. [Those being guy is Protector, girl is Nurturer, etc.]

Yes, it pisses me off when people assume that I like "Twilight" when they figure out I like vampires, but what's sadder is that so many are willing to buy into a series that's so badly written and essentially shallow.

Some Links

The Vampire Lestat (Satan's Night Out) - Redeemer (It was a terrible movie but at least it made good music videos)

The Wisdom of Crocodiles & Interview with the Vampire - vampire movies done right

Buffy vs. Edward Remix

Harry Potter vs. Twilight (takes itself a tad bit too seriously but offers insightful perspectives on both books)

Last but not least Look For Me By Moonlightt - my first vampire novel which I read in 3rd grade yet still far smarter and better written than Twilight.

Enjoy

can't quite think today

My brain is concerned about the health care reform, is contemplating the moral and emotional issues of assisted suicide and is mulling over George Orwell's essay "Politics and the English Language" but really my heart isn't in it.

Like a sad emo kid on a swing my heart's just listening to my "Bittersweet" playlist.
......I wish I could just be sure of something, anything.

Death Food/how to avoid congealing into a blob

I went on a bike trail for a couple of hours today and it was glorious, my friend and I talked about horror movies while peddling to the botanical gardens. Going downhill at breakneck speed and endless road ahead reminded me how utterly sweet life could be. Of course, I hadn't seen sunlight for two days so maybe it was the fresh oxygen that was so exhilerating?

Contrary to logic, summer means less physical activity for me and more Death Food. When I live on my own I get to choose what I eat; fruit, substitute meat products (because I fear cooking meat), real tomatoes, any asian food I can afford and lots of cheese. I don't buy many sweets because I can't afford it and the staple of my diet is whole wheat bread, because it is nutty and delicious. During the summer I mostly live with my parents and get to not pay for food (yay!) but eat mostly hotdogs, potato salad, chicken wings, a variety of dipping sauces and muffins. Obviously the latter are not the sort of nutritionary choices that allow you to live past your twenties and still be able to walk up a flight of stairs.

Hence these handy food links that may make the difference between fun bikeride and slow painful excercise;

>unhealthiest drinks in america, Monster is on this with 2,000 calories, summary: drink plain coffee instead

>the truth about diet soda, yes real soda is an evil concoction of death, sugar and heart attack..so is diet

>ways you can still eat at the good fastfood joints (better menu options and a list of what to avoid)

>the best food for better sex, just for fun, but all of these sound pretty delicious anyway ;)

>and cheese, because life is better with cheese.